by Traverse Legal, reviewed by Enrico Schaefer - June 28, 2007 - Albion College, Chapter 1
THE PAST…Freshman don’t have a chance. They meet a couple of other freshman girls in the first several weeks, thinking they’re about to score. But about that same time, the sophomores swoop in and steal every cute girl in sight. Even worse, they take the ones that aren’t cute at all. They take the girls who’ve already gained their first seven pounds eating cafeteria food. They take the innocent girls who are experiencing freedom outside the protective arms of their fathers. They take the ones who are already rumored to be lesbians. They take the slutty ones and the prissy ones. They’re like piranhas preying on the goldfish dumped fresh out of the zip lock bag into the tank.
Juniors could easily trump the sophomores. But by junior year, you’ve grown bored of the feeding frenzy. Juniors bide their time, wait for the sophomores to bring the girls to them and wait for the girls to trade up. By junior year, the hottest girls come to you. You don’t even have to get off your couch.
Seniors are pretty bored with it all. They’ve had their fill of freshman, sophomores, juniors and upperclassman. Seniors have girlfriends, fighting off pinnings and matrimony as best they can as the future descends around them.
But sophomores are the kings. They have the hunger, the status and the alcohol to make it happen. I had never been in a position to even get noticed by girls. Freshman year, I may have gotten close to losing my virginity two or three times. But I was way out of my league when it came to sex. No one had provided instructions to date. And since I still looked somewhere in the range of 14, I was bottom feeding anyway. This meant drunk girls on the verge of passing out, one of whom puked all over my bed and dorm room freshman year while I was in the bathroom. I’ll never forget Julie. She was so apologetic. All I could think about was how I had been foiled again in my mission.
It wasn’t that I didn’t still look young and still carried a lot of baby fat and was short. I was a sophomore. And the world of college I had, by pure default, achieved "status." I was less invisible than I had ever been. And Paul D’s big Cerwin Vegas speakers blasting Prince so loud that the entire concrete building, from first to third floor, shook.
As a founding partner of Traverse Legal, PLC, he has more than thirty years of experience as an attorney for both established companies and emerging start-ups. His extensive experience includes navigating technology law matters and complex litigation throughout the United States.
This page has been written, edited, and reviewed by a team of legal writers following our comprehensive editorial guidelines. This page was approved by attorney Enrico Schaefer, who has more than 20 years of legal experience as a practicing Business, IP, and Technology Law litigation attorney.
